10/23/2020 0 Comments the eaSo this year I've been working as an EA. Well technically a paraeducator but no one really knows what that is, including me. So I tell people EA.
I love it. Seriously love it. It's more busy than not, keeps me challenged and creative and the students are a ton of fun. And I have also learned that I am not cool. Not even a little bit. Here's why. 1. I had to get a whistle for yard duty. But of course when I went to go buy one I couldn't find them anywhere. I did find, however, a wonderful party pack of whistles. You know the packet of toys in with all the birthday party treat bag supplies. So what that it was green and had a soccer sticker on it. A whistle is a whistle right? Wrong. This whistle sounded like a train whistle when you blew it. First week in and already they are rolling their eyes at me. 2. I mentioned to the kids that I knew what tiktok is. I thought this would make me cool. But it actually just made me look like a creepy old person trying to fit in with the kids. My student's exact words were "Umm.. That's for kids. You are old. That's so weird." 3. I know grade 7 was a long time ago for me but I didn't realize just how long ago until I started having to teach grammar and math. I mean who divides fractions and then simplifies into mixed numerals in real life?! Who talks about object and subject pronouns?! Totally irrelevant. 4. I am not technologically savvy. I thought I was, or at least could hold my own. Turns out I'm Google drive/doc/classroom/slides illiterate. Who knew such things existed in their magic ways?! Who knew you could create and delete other students slides and then send them messages in a side bar? Not me. So when trying to establish my authority and relationship to these kids it's super fun when I need to ask for help on opening a document. Or saving a slide. Or you know, needing the word sized changed. 5. When I got my own chalk board and chalk the "I've got the power" song from the Energizer commercial went through my head all day. I may have whispered it outloud. MAY have. 6. I'm going to write "Please say good morning" on the floor right inside the door. Because apparently no child likes to look me in the eye or say good morning. Instead they all look down at the ground. One day they will respond to me!! 7. I like to highlight things. 8. I think every single day I have to answer "why do we study math? Who would choose to invent this stuff?! WHY!" I've tried the grown up response of "Oh we use math every day in our lives. Read the Bible and you will see evidence of structure, order, etc" when in reality I want to say "I KNOW!!!! WHOEVER IT IS I WOULD LIKE TO PUNCH RIGHT NOW!!. I don't though. 9. I still can't call teachers by their first names. It's so weird. And then today when I accidentally slipped up and referred to a teacher by their first name to a student I tried to cover it with a cough. A COUGH. Because "cough" and "Nathan" sound the same. 10. Kids are weird. They do weird things outside. One day they are arguing about abortion, the next day they are practicing a synchronized dance routine and then next they are running around making farting noises. Not much different than grown ups I guess. Oh also a note to the students. We can all totally see you when you pick your nose and eat it under your mask. And Harper wears her mask over her eyes and pretends she's blind. You're welcome.
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