4/18/2021 0 Comments these daysMy favourite part about coming home after a night shift with almost no sleep is when my kids have been fed, teeth are brushed, hair is done and they are nicely sitting on the couch in their Sunday best and I'm greeted with "Oh hello Mommy! We are so happy you are home!".
But that has yet to happen. Instead I'm not even out of the van yet when my kids come flying outside in their underwear screaming "I'm staaaaaarving!!" or "we have no food!!" or my personal favourite "he hit me again!!". So after Reuben was up nearly every hour with our dog and I am running on empty and have yet to be caffeinated, my children eat leftover Halloween candy for breakfast. Oh and a bear paw. Don't judge!! You've totally done that too in a delirious state of sleep deprivation. You have totally eaten a brownie or leftover cake or a rice krispie square (it's CEREAL) first thing. At some point. Unless you've never been to college or had children. And let's be real, half of the cereal nowadays is just sugar anyways. And then I spent a good chunk of my afternoon helping Harper build a mansion for her worms. Oh constantly performing funerals for the poor worms that would 'accidentally' have too much water poured on them till they drowned. Each worm, or piece of a worm that Harper didn't realize she had ripped, required a seperate burial complete with a little prayer. I think some experienced a rebirth when Harper unknowingly dug them up again thinking they were new worms. And the new soundtrack of my life is Jackson doing that armpit farting noise. It's not annoying at all. And apparently never ever gets old. So just picture my 7.5 year old sitting on the couch in his Sonic the Hedgehog underwear laughing hysterically, showing his half grown adult teeth, going to town making his armpit fart. Now just envision that all the time. All day. Every time you think you get 2 seconds of peace and quiet. Also I was privileged enough to have the differences and similarities between hot dog weiners and human ones explained to me. Crucial life information. I'm so excited about what else I am going to learn over this absolutely wonderful locked down learning at home. Also please note I'm writing this with headphones on trying to ignore the constant "mommy, my foot hurts", "Mom I'm hungry", "Mom can you go check on my worms outside?". At dawn we ride my friends, at dawn we ride. At home learning as nothing on us!! Please send reinforcements.
0 Comments
4/13/2021 0 Comments at home learning #3And here we go again.
Another bout of at home learning. Another round of "my mom is the worst teacher ever" Another round of spiked coffee. Jk. Kinda. Sigh. I won't lie, I wasn't surprised at all by the announcement. I think I was almost counting on school being shut down after Easter. Then if we went back I would be pleasantly surprised. But alas here we are again. We will most likely do the bare minimum for our own mental health. We will learn Amber style. We will be getting really dirty outside, we will catch tadpoles, butterflies and other disgusting bugs from outside. We will wear clothes that haven't been washed in days with hair that hasn't been brushed in just as long. We will revert to our inner cave person and live off the land, eating with our hands, showering in the rain and sleeping under the stars. We have mastered 'popping a squat', we know which leaves work best as toilet paper and some of us have learned how to make the most intense eye contact while pooping in the woods (cough cough, HARPER). WE WILL DEFEAT THIS LOCKDOWN! I think I've gone a little nuts. But here are some of my top suggestions to surviving another at home learning/lock down/where the heck is normal session. 1. Coffee. Strong enough to make your spoon stand up. Extra espresso. (If anyone is wondering how they can help moms during this time, Tim Hortons delivers. Yes that's right. Delivers. A minimum order of $15? That amount of coffee can easily be consumed in one day of at home learning. I'm happy to give you my address). 2. Picnics. My kids will eat pretty much any food if it's outside on a blanket. Weirdos. But hey it works. Plus it's a bribe. Sorry, a reward incentive for good behaviour. Sometimes Mcdonalds makes my picnics. 3. We are setting a limit on online attendance. I know teachers are working really hard to ensure that students academic needs are met but we've learned we have screen time limits. I'm going to chat with my kids teachers about what that looks like for our family. I'm happy to do paper work off the screen but my kids can't take a full day of that. 4. Outdoor forts. My backyard looks like a garbage truck exploded in it. There is a massive tarp, old Christmas tree, every bowl I think we own, several water bottles and cups, 3 bikes, probably 6 shoes without their matches, a sled, 6 baziliion sports balls, a trampoline and climber, 3 foam pads, a wheelbarrow and at least 4 of my good wicker chairs upside down piled together. And if I were to clean up ANY of these things there would be a riot. Because they are all intentionally placed (okay maybe not the shoes) in their own little world of adventure. And it may make me slightly crazy looking out the window BUT it also keeps them entertained for hours. And hours. 5. Socially distanced walks with friends, for me. Walk off the insanity. It's the newest workout trend. And you need to find that friend who doesn't mind if you are gassy or maybe need to unwedgie yourself. Because no one has the head space at the end of a day to walk for an hour totally uncomfortable. That's all I have for now. I probably have a ton more. But this is it for now. Thank goodness that there is sunshine. Warmth. Birds. You know that stuff. And room for lots and lots of crazy. |
AuthorArchives
October 2021
Categories |