2/27/2017 0 Comments the things they sayThe things my kids say... my oh my. Sometimes it's absolutely hysterical, other times I think "do I sound like that?". I wish I could record every hilarious thing they say but let's be real - to hold over their heads when they are older. Also is it bad that I don't always correct Shiloh's lisp because I think it's absolutely adorable? Or when Jackson pronounces 'stink' as 'skink'.
Things I've heard this week so far.. (it's Monday evening). "Sorry mom I just don't want to look at you right now" (Shiloh said this to me as she was shutting the door to the room I was in. Okay then Ms. Sassypants). "Scary babies get thrown to crocodiles" (a warning to anyone coming into our house with a scary baby. I think it's actually because we watched the Prince of Egypt a few weeks ago). "Don't come downstairs cause you'll be mad at me". (The sentence you do NOT want to hear as a parent. I was coming down the stairs when this was yelled at me. I took one look downstairs at the absolute chaotic disaster that had been created. And walked back upstairs) It's also fascinating to see their unique personalities coupled with their genders coming out. Jackson is all boy. Rough and tumble, physical and energetic. Yet he can be so sensitive and caring. Shiloh is all girl. Loves to dress up, nurture dolls, twirl in skirts. But can out stubborn the best of us and has a fierce personality. Today both kids had a time out by 8 am. Hurray Mondays. We currently put them on the stairs and close the baby gate. When they are calm they are supposed to (key word) let us know they are ready to talk. Today as Jackson was hooting and hollering away in time out Shiloh came up, gently patted his leg and said "Oh buddy... When you are calm you can talk. You didn't listen and that makes us all sad. Just take a few breathes. It's okay buddy". Oh man is that actually what I sound like when I discipline my kids?? When he came off time out she marched over "I am SO proud of you buddy. Good job!". When Shiloh was in time out Jackson also went over to her. Except he told her "you're bad and in time out. Now I get all the stickers". Which made everything so so much better. Brothers.
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2/25/2017 0 Comments moanaAnyone else see Moana? I'll admit, I'm a bit of a Disney fan. So we may have taken the kids on two separate occasions to see the movie in theatres. Typical Disney plotline that doesn't always make sense. But the graphics are incredible and the soundtrack is amazing!
So amazing it's currently ruining my life. We listen to the darn thing every. single. day. All day. Some of the songs have a real Polynesian flair (oh my that sounds like my mother coming through) and on the movie they dance with what I'm assuming is Polynesian dance moves? Shiloh cannot get enough. It is the most adorable thing watching her hands on her hips and arms moving as she imitates the dancers. That girl is the wrong ethnicity. There is nothing Dutch about her booty shaking. Jackson will dance along too but he is the epitome of white Dutch male dancer. Also hilarious. Reuben so wonderfully (it actually is most of the time) downloaded the soundtrack to his phone so we can listen to it wherever we go. So every time we get in the van it's a loud demand for Moana. Shiloh can sing those songs in her sleep. Last night she was up in our bed reading belting out some of the songs at the top of her lungs. When we peeked on her she was singing with her eyes clothes and hands very dramatically moving along. Thank goodness she's a generation behind Glee. Shiloh also belts it out everywhere we go. Seriously all you do is say "Moana" or quietly sing "I've been..." and there she goes! Try it next time you see her, I dare you! Problem is she doesn't often sing all the lyrics. Her favourite lines are "I wish I could be the perfect daughter" and "What is wrong with me?". complete with dramatic concern on her face. I wish I was joking. I've got some pretty epic stare downs from strangers when my daughter sings those two lines on repeat. Again, I wish I was joking. There are 'kakamora', pirate coconuts who attack Moana. Intriguing am I right? How can you not like Disney movies! Except the Emperor's New Groove. Dumb. (Also, the Rock plays Maui and there is a pretty awesome video clip of him singing the songs). Anyways! In addition to the Kakamora there is a lot of talk about coconuts - apparently they are awesome enough that her entire village is centred around them. So trying to be all creative super mom I bought a few coconuts so we could see them ''in real life'' and cut them open and stuff. We were looking at them and I pointed out the three little indents where the coconut was attached to the tree and how it looks like a face. Suddenly Jackson whispered "kakamora!!" and threw down his coconut and has refused to go anywhere near one ever since. Thank you Moana. ("You're Welcome!" - hahahaha, go watch the movie so you'll realize how awesome that joke is!) 2/22/2017 0 Comments verbal diarrheaI apologize in advance for any of you who choose to have conversations with me. I'm normally fairly introverted but it's like as soon as I get to talk to another human being about, I don't know, anything not child related I instantly get verbal diarrhea. In endless amounts. (Verbal diarrhea not actual. Remember that so we can still hang out)
But seriously. It's like I need to to use every big word I know in the hopes that people will still think I have a functioning brain. It's usually totally out of context and doesn't make any flipping sense. But somehow it just comes out. Can't stop it or control it. It just explodes. Me: "Yes, I have a convoluted seismic docket. Intermittently. Ancillary friends." *I do still have a brain!! I can think of big words!!* You: "Amber, that's great!" *What the heck are you talking about? You are actually crazy. But I will nod politely because society dictates I do so* I bet you are amazed at my ability to form a sentence that has 6 different thoughts in it that becomes so random and all over I'm even confused by the time I finally pause. It's like I feel like I'll never have an adult conversation again so I must get out everything I could possibly want to say in the next 10 years. Every feeling I've felt (which let's be honest is about 10 000 different things in the span of 30 seconds. Thank you children) comes out that I would like wrestled through. As I'm talking I'm also thinking about what chores need to be done, what our next meal is, do we have toilet paper, how many pull ups did Jackson go through today, oh did I pay my Koodo bill, can I go another day without vacuuming because that would be awesome oh and I think I need a chocolate bar. It's not that I don't want to listen to you because believe me our conversations are life savers! It's more that I just can't shut it all off. But you graciously nod and pretend to be interested in what I'm saying in the new language I've apparently created. You ignore my linguistic slip ups and let my verbal diarrhea explode all over you (I bet you are all having some very interesting visuals right now haha). And you show me grace and love in my chaos. I love you. (And my that made my mind jump to "I want you I need you oh baby oh baby" - 10 Things I hate About you anyone?? Told you I jump everywhere). 2/22/2017 0 Comments count to 3We have three kids. Under the age of 4. Which isn't too crazy but continually brings me back to my camp counsellor days. I am constantly doing a head count. All. The. Time.
I live in this perpetual fear of leaving a kid behind somewhere, especially when we are getting ready to leave our house. It's an insane enough battle getting everyone ready. Strap Harper in her carseat and let her scream till we are ready. Finally coral one kid to get their shoes on when the other decides it's time to play with all the duplo. Get her finagled into her jacket only to find Jackson has taken his shoes off because he's insistent he can't wear his blue socks. Dash around like a headless chicken (quite often shouting "why oh why" and getting told off if I say "oh my goodness") getting new socks and Shiloh poops. Everywhere. Then everyone is crying. Once the kids are dressed (or I've thrown their coats at them because it's so ridiculous I have to put on all their winter stuff to take it off 2 seconds later in the car - anyone else?!) they are allowed to stand on the porch. And lately Jackson hears "Jackson you may wait on the porch" as "Jackson feel free to run aimlessly everywhere about our street and road and make all the neighbours consider calling CAS because I look like a terrible parent". I'm trying to master the firm and raised voice that isn't quite a yell. Doesn't work yet. I squawk at Jackson to look both ways before crossing the road - this involves him closing his eyes and whipping his head from side to side. Super effective. Thank goodness for miracle doors on our van that open with the push of a button. My kids are a bit like sheep in that as soon as they hear the doors click they automatically head to the van. Point for mom! By the time I get my purse, diaper bag and any other child requirements, bundle Harper and lock the front door guarantee Shiloh is screaming because Jackson's coming within 10 feet of her. Which is pretty impossible to avoid considering their car seats are beside each other. 2/15/2017 0 Comments this weekWe have had a busy and full week! It's one of those weeks that I love the fullness of it but forget how too much excitement turns my mostly predictable children into tasmanian devils. I swear they discovered new ways to sass back this week. Let me share a few of my highlights (because I know you are all just dying to hear them) I had to have four cavities filled (judge away, I do brush and floss daily I promise!). And apparently I get so hyped up at the dentist that my adrenaline caused my body to process the freezing too quickly. I had 10 shots of freezing only to still feel a lot when they wanted to start. So all those absolutely horrendous needles only to not be able to have them all filled. One pro was no half frozen face! So what should have been a ''pleasant'' break watching a movie to the background noise of drill turned into my worst nightmare with an army of needles entering my mouth. My 2 year old had an epic temper tantrum because I told her her poop stinks. She has also been demanding every time to see her poop in her diaper. And then narrate what it looks like. We had an awesome time jumping at the indoor trampoline park with some of Reuben's family. The inner child in me erupted and I may have coerced my 3 year old into joining me in the dodge ball section. It was a great way to burn off some much built up mom aggression (by jumping around guys, come on). I even bribed my kids with timbits (again) so that when we left they nicely hopped into the van! On the way home Shiloh spent 20 minutes talking to her timbits. I think she jumped her brains loose. Jackson wears pull ups with a tire that goes away when wet. This week I swore all the pull ups were defective because I never saw the stupid thing. Anyone else HATE potty training? Shiloh also goes around and checks to see if its there all the time. If (and we haven't heard this in a LONG time) it's still there we hear "Oh good job buddy!!!". If it's gone she says "oh buddy! Jackson... you need to keep your tire on. Maybe next time.." It's scary hearing yourself through someone else. We also got to enjoy an indoor waterpark with Reuben's family. It felt like we were on vacation!! We had such a great time! Jackson is a complete water rat and would not leave the water. I don't think he sat down (besides for lunch) the entire time we were there. Reuben's mom also, very smoothly, was able to contain his serious code brown before he contaminated the entire place. Shiloh discovered plastic animals at Jackson's speech assessment. She was quite fascinated with the cow and so wonderfully told the speech pathologist that cows make milk with their special boobs just like her mommy. People drink cow's milk and people drink mommy's milk. Correction, it's ONLY Harper that drinks mommy's milk thank you. And finally my darling little boy was thrilled to take his Grandma on a date for Valentines day. He talked about it for days - he picked out flowers for her, got to pay all by himself with a Tim's card and tried to open the door for her. And then he so nicely refused to listen to anything for the rest of the day. Anything. So he ended up having to go to bed a little early. And all I heard was "it's not okay that this is happening to me! i don't like how this is making me feel". Alright child, if we are playing that card.... Happy Family day weekend to me! So I use timbits to bribe my children.
I know, parent of the year. But seriously sometimes I just need them to get their little booties in their clothes, quit dwaddling and discovering every toy that had forgotten about, stop fighting and get the stink outside. So I bribe them. And timbits work the best. Like today for instance. Shiloh had to be at dance class at 10 (which she was absolutely miserable at so I ate her Valentine's candy - to be fair I hadn't given it to her yet). But her and Jackson could not follow instructions at all and kept looking at me like I spoke a different language. So instead of losing it and yelling at my kids (*pats myself on the back*) I promised them timbits if they could hurry up. And if they didn't mommy would get a coffee but they wouldn't get timbits. Mother of the year yet? You call it bribery, I call it creative problem solving :) 2/11/2017 0 Comments bandaidsMy kids LOVE bandaids and find every excuse in the book to have one or give them to someone else.
Thanks to post pregnancy hormones my skin looks like a 14 year old's. And I'm a picker so all my pimples become oozing craters (how's that for a visual?). I was cleaning the bathroom while Shiloh was attempting to use the toilet when she noticed all my ''owies''. She was very insistent that I need a bandaid. In my absent minded cleaning I agreed knowing she couldn't reach the ones in the cupboard. And turned around to have a pad stuck on my face. Shiloh had found the only 'bandaids' big enough for my owies. |
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