4/24/2018 0 Comments costcoYou know when you are out shopping and there are those kids who make yours look sooo much better? The ones who make you feel like you are an excellent parent with very well behaved kids, or at least somewhat behaved kids? You know, the whiners, criers, tantrum throwers or kids begging for every single thing they pass?
I have one of those. Oh heaven help me I've got one of those. And it always happens at Costco which is a war zone anyways of dodging carts, running into people, playing the passive aggressive game of who is going to go down the row first. The only way to survive is to know who to glare at and who to smile at. I thought Jackson hated shopping until I had Harper. We have a routine at Costco where we pass the TV's to entertain the kids until we reach the books. I load them up with books to look at so I can race through the store. They hand over the books to the cashier because I've told them they aren't allowed to leave the store. It totally horrendously failed today. My first mistake was arriving early. I brought Timbits as a bribe (stop judging) and of course forgot the wipes. We went directly to Costco after dropping Jackson off and I forgot that Shiloh had dressed herself. So.... trashy. She's wearing polka dot pants with a blue and pink skirt and a gray batman shirt. Both girls were covered in snot (wiped up into their hair which has now cemented into ridiculous ponytails) and timbits. So we look homeless. Maybe people will give us lots of room in the aisles. And then I strap Harper in. Oh Moses it was a battle. She did the I-can't-bend-you-are-murdering-me. Finally buckled in I thought she would eventually calm down. Nope. She writhed and screamed and threw herself everywhere until she smashed her head on a box as we went past. So then I have to take her out and be the good parent right? Comforting my child from insanely throwing herself like a madman. Once she's calm I convinced myself she would walk calmly. Oh goodness was I drinking this morning!? She RAN. RAN. I'm doing the good mom ''Harper sweetie please come back you'll hurt yourself." This lasted 5 seconds. She started throwing things down as she ran past, almost took out an older couple and just went nuts. I let out a Xena yell (okay not quite) but tore after that crazy, caught her and wrestled her back into the buckled seat. And finished shopping as she tantrumed for the 15 minutes I had left. She threw everything she could reach out of the cart at any chance and grabbed at anyone walking near with her snotty little fingers. I swear the cashier muttered under his breath when I approached his line. Haha jokes on him, the cart goes behind him and not with me while he rings me through. So I had 5 seconds of peace and pretending I had one dutiful little daughter who loves grocery shopping. And then I handed the tasmanian devil the receipt and she instantly stopped. I mean she battled again when I put her in the car seat. When you do the quick look around to see who is judging like crazy and then when it's all clear you do the almost (i didn't ACTUALLY do it) but the board bend to make her sit. 5 seconds later she was asleep. I have that kid. I wanted spirited and fiesty. Now I just want a nap.
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4/17/2018 0 Comments the name gameWe decided to start reading the Bible from the beginning for the kids. We were getting a little fixated on Samson's blind strength that was resulting in Jackson running around with his eyes closed trying to be a superhero. And refusing hair cuts. And Shiloh tended to get a little distracted by the fact that Esther was a queen living in a palace with beautiful dresses and maybe a unicorn.
So why not start at the beginning right? We were working through the creation story and talking about all the different animals God made for the first time. And lucky Adam got to name them all. "Shiloh, what do you think Adam named this one?" "Terry." "Well... I was thinking more 'fox' but I guess he could have called him Terry." "Jackson what did Adam name his wife?" "Evil". Ugh.... not quite. It amazes me that there are times that my crazies, especially Shiloh, will wrestle through huge theological concepts and then miss some basic facts. She has no problem telling you that your soul is the part of you that makes you happy and think and Jesus/God/holy spirit are all the same thing. But because of the holy spirit Jesus can live in all our hearts at the same time. And Jackson likes to wrestle through what our new bodies will look like in heaven (he's especially convinced my grandpa will be given a black body and Jackson will be given a body like Samson). And then other things.. man. I love those kids. 4/17/2018 0 Comments rebellious nightsReuben and I are real party animals. The kids go to bed and it's time to live large! Okay well until 9:30.
It's like a high when I get to leave the bathroom door open without being afraid of someone crawling into the toilet or licking the plunger. Watch me world! I'm gonna leave the toilet paper ON the roll instead of having to hide it from my smallest crazy! I CAN LEAVE THE GATE OPEN! I can open the cupboards or a chocolate bar wrapper or the ice cream tub without the vultures arriving. My rebellious years are now guys! And then I see the reminder on my phone to put on deodorant. Not quite the same high. |
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