3/25/2022 0 Comments when two dogs fall in loveMy last few weeks are what parenting dreams are made of.
Reproductive focused conversations. Who doesn't want to spend all day talking about how female dogs get pregnant and what the boy dog has to do to get that way??! We got to dog sit our friend's super friendly, super sweet and wonderfully hyper unfixed female border collie/labrador. Daisy is wonderful and my kids have always said that Daisy needs to marry Gus, our male unfixed golden retriever. That's what I very naively thought was a satisfying answer to any reproductive questions. Cause guys, I'm a child when it comes to any sex-related conversations. I can't. I'm not mature enough. My children are all immaculate conceptions. Now Gus humps like every day is hump day. But I figured that if Daisy wasn't in heat then he could hump all he wanted but it wouldn't really matter. And Gus sometimes gets anatomy confused - he isn't quite sure what end is which - so you know.. It wouldn't work. When Daisy was dropped off I think it made Gus' life. He was bananas excited and wouldn't leave the poor girl alone. But soooo much playing around and running around. They were inseperable. It was wonderfully cute and annoying at the same time. And then on about day 3 Gus came in with blood on his face. Now he gets in to all kinds of trouble normally so I wasn't too concerned. Until I saw more spots throughout the house. Daisy was in heat. Ahhhhhhhhh mother. And the reproductive conversations begin. Conversations about uteruses, periods, special weiners. "Mom, Daisy's butt blood is on the floor again!" "It's not butt blood it's BAGINA blood!!" "But I thought you said you couldn't have babies unless you were married and Gus and Daisy aren't married so how can they have babies?? Did you lie?? Did you trick us?!" "So one day I will get a period and then will you have to put blankets and sheets on everything too so it doesn't get everywhere?" Reuben and I had talked about wanting to spend some more time together. But we didn't think that meant waking up at 6 am to hear two dogs going at it. And needing to go out, in the freezing cold, to comfort both dogs until the tie released. Not what we were expecting in terms of spending more time together. I mean what is better than early mornings spent staring at two dogs butts to tell if they've seperated? And trying to calm down Daisy so she doesn't rip off Gus' male parts? Eye contact with a dog while they are breeding is definitely a highlight of mine. It was like having two teenagers. We would notice it was quiet, couldn't find the dogs and race downstairs to find them mid act. Gus looking so stinking proud and Daisy hanging her head in embarassment. I even got to come home from work one night at 11:30 pm to open the door to two dog butts stuck together. And because children are wonderfully curious creatures, all their questions are normally asked while their faces are inches from the dogs rear ends. "Mom what is happening with the dogs?" "EWWWW why does Gus' weiner look like a super gross sausage?" "How does it get apart? Do you need to pull it apart?" "Why are their butts stuck together??" "He has to hump his weiner in her butt?" "Is that how people do it??" I try guys, I really do to be appropriate. But you can only talk about dog penises without gagging for so long before they become weiners again and you default to "just ask your dad when he gets home". I mean I want to be age appropriate and respectful but if Gus comes anywhere near me right after the tie breaks, I'm running away gagging. It's gross!! BUT don't worry, we are working on it and slowly continuing to have conversations. I promise - even ask Reuben! And having the dogs tie 7 times (that we saw), those conversations are unavoidable. Daisy is back home now and my pathetic retriever is so mopey and lovesick he carries her sheet around the house. So that's fun. But let's hope Daisy IS actually pregnant after all that. Cause I cannot wait for my kids to actually experience puppies and all the joy they bring. (I know Daisy isn't ours but we are all about sharing parental rights and responsibilities).
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11/29/2021 0 Comments some new things!I'm seriously technologically challenged guys.
I've been composing some awesome blog posts (in my head) and have been wanting to share them but for some reason I just could not log on to the editing component of my blog. Every time I tried. Gah. But clearly it worked today now!! Hurray!! I have a few exciting things to share with you guys!! 1. I have a website! Wild right!? That's how I feel too! For now it offers a bit of basic information but I'm hoping to continue to build on it. There is currently information about the book and ways to contact me but I'm hoping to be able to offer purchasing options right through the site. And the thing that makes me most excited about doing that is that I can offer personal messages to each book purchase. And that makes me so excited. What is the incredible website you are dying to check out you ask? Let me tell you! It will be like a mini Christmas present for you :) www.amberkuipers.com Creative right?! But I bet you won't forget it. 2. I have a mailing list! This is something I've been trying to get going for a while but again, because I am lacking in some technological skills and have had some bigger projects, it hasn't quite happened. Until now! It is! The mailing list will be a bit more focused on my work as an author. And because I'm not really sure what that part of my life will look like, I'm not really sure what the emails will all entail. I can promise it will most likely (pretty solid promise eh) be entertaining in true Amber form. You can find the link on my website. Just scroll down a bit and enter your information to join my emails. I can't wait! 3. I'm launching a few new grief related items. I'm so excited to share that with you soon!!!! I've learned a lot this year about just stepping out and doing something even if it means I can fail. And it's scary. And vulnerable. And hard. And makes me feel all these things. BUT I've also realized that I am passionate about certain aspects of my life. I want people to feel less alone, especially in their grief. So I'm trying a few things and seeing where it goes. Please stay tuned as I continue to try to figure out my technology. And my life. 11/5/2021 0 Comments The trainingSometimes I think I know my children and am aware of most of the things they do. Other times I realize that I don't. Nope not at all.
Found out yesterday at bed time that Harper wore a training bra to school that day. She's 4. A training bra. We have a stack of ones we were given for future use. I thought far far in the future. Turns out Harper found them and was quite thrilled to wear it. She rocked that bad boy all day I guess. I found out she wore it at bedtime when she got stuck in her shirt while taking it off. Shiloh immediately jumped on that bandwagon and insisted on a bra. And then she and Shiloh had 10 billion questions about why we wear bras.. Cue my inner terror at the thought of having to have some sort of changing body related conversation.. "Why do we need a bra?" "Well soon your body will start changing and you'll start growing breasts." "Just say boobs. Breasts is weird Mom." "Ok." "So why do we need it?" "it holds your boobs in." "Holds them in from what? Do they flop everywhere?" "No... It just.. I dunno.. Holds them in place I guess." "Do they start to grow sideways otherwise?" "Well no.. It just keeps them covered and keeps them from... sticking out I guess?" "So it mushes them flat. Yours aren't mushed flat." "No no it doesn't mush them flat. When your body starts to grow, like your nipples, it keeps them in? I don't know, you'll just wear one. I give up." "So these nips are going to turn into some big boobies?YAAAAAY" And that my friends is my latest parenting fail. Wait. This morning Harper was insistent on wearing ''her bra'' again. Except she wanted to wear it OVER her clothes. Not under. Over. I tried explaining that it was like underwear and we don't show people that. But she didn't care. After many threats to steal her Halloween candy, she finally acquiesced. But I still sent her teacher an email explaining the situation begging her to tell me if she comes out of the bathroom with her bra magically over her shirt because... Harper. 10/17/2021 0 Comments My absence explained... kindaWhere have I been the last few months?!
That's a very good question. And I'm pretty sure I have yet to be reunited with my brain. But I'll be perfectly honest. I have found the last few months very difficult and trying in a lot of ways that I wasn't able to name or even recognize until lately. More on that later when my brain somehow finds its way back to me. But getting back into a routine has been lovely. But stressful. Wonderfully predictable but overwhelming. Normal and beautifully boring. School is great. Making lunches sucks (the smell of lunchboxes when you open them!?). Having a reason to get dressed is great. Choice of what to wear is overwhelming. Anyone else?! I also went back to work full time the same day my kids started school. I'm working at the same school with some of the same students but in very different capacities. I'm at a different campus working with different teachers. Different hours, different routines. And for the most part I love it. But man some days it's a lot. And I think there is still this undercurrent of fear that we will once again be shut down and forced into the horrible role of at home teacher/parent/principal/monster. I have so missed people and social interactions. I have missed the ability to see people outside of my small circle. I absolutely love the feeling of slowly getting back to normal. And yet I am WIPED whenever we have a bigger social gathering. Okay okay fine I'm wiped even by smaller social interactions. And I was before too (introverts unite!) but it's been a lot worse lately. It's not normal yet. We have a ways to go. And I am beyond tired of talking about vaccines and vaccines passports and our ''rights'' and all that. I want to know about YOU. I've missed YOU. I've missed the sound of my friends laughing together, my kids playing in large groups. I've missed the conversations about vacations and weddings and parties. The amount of despair I feel watching vaccines conversations take over all else, divide families and friend groups, cause arguments and fractured relationships... Man. It's a hard season of polarizing opinions, a wealth of misinformation and a lack of grace all around.. We are in an unprecedented age of a global pandemic with no 'right way' manual. And navigating all of this is so dang exhausting. And yet does anyone else find that slowly this is all becoming our new normal? Last night as I watched a movie with my husband I got anxious when one of the characters walked into a store without a mask on. I actually whispered "you need a mask!!" Guys. The movie was from 2010. I think it will take a long time for some aspects of Covid to stop occupying our mental space. I've started playing games with myself, "guess what they look like under the mask". It's pretty awesome. And usually I'm completely wrong and can't stop awkwardly looking at the person if they take off their mask. They probably think I want to kiss them with the amount I'm staring at their mouths. And between juggling new routines, back to full time work, school, and navigate all the things that come with the book I have been absent in this space. But I am hoping to use it more frequently. I'm hoping to get more committed to working on things consistently with the book, blog and other writing ventures. I do find it very therapeutic and I love connecting with people in ways I didn't imagine. And the next little bit I just might be getting pretty real and vulnerable. Maybe we can build honesty, vulnerability and safe places online in the midst of this chaos. 7/24/2021 0 Comments Road TripWe just came back from our first legit road trip as a family of 5. Last year we were supposed to go out East but no go (thank you stupid Covid) and this year I didn't want to plan another trip that wouldn't happen because a pandemic hates us. So we decided to do Manitoulin Island and the Georgian Bay area. The kids are finally all toilet trained and no longer require consistent naps. Plus because they are all roughly the same age they can all do the same things. And, much to my embarassment as a Canadian, I haven't actually explored a ton of our country.
And we vowed to try going device free during the drive. For the kids. I maaaaay have used my phone. But that's besides the point. Right?! We were going to go old school and not watch movies, play online games or give our kids a phone during the drive. Now before you roll eyes because you think I'm saying that while riding my high horse, this decision was yes because we don't think kids should be on devices but also because I know that if I started doing that, it would be an easy default for my parenting style. This decision is more because of me than anything else. And don't get me wrong, my kids definitely watch TV. We aren't that crazy. As an alternative each kid got a bucket and some dollar store spending money. They could fill their bucket with whatever they bought and anything they wanted from home but it had to fit in their bucket. Everytime they left the van all their junk needed to be in their bucket and it needed to be on their seat. And guys, it worked!!! Plus Harry Potter audiobooks. They saved us. Big-time. Long enough to keep the kids entertained but something we all enjoyed listening to. Also a van can feel like a jail. Any parents know what I mean. It comes with it's own restraints though, that children are required to wear so that's good. But I think Ford failed when he didn't mandate that there be plexiglass in between children in vehicles. But overall the trip was great. Actually better than I was expecting. Things didn't always go right - it did rain alot But we brought water shoes and raincoats and swam in waterfalls in the rain. We also underestimated the island life and had to drive 45 minutes to find a restaurant that was open. We booked a campsite on a dark sky preserve and it was cloudy that night. We also underestimated the weather and all froze that night camping. I've never packed up a tent so fast (or early) to drive over an hour for a coffee. Also our trusty inflatable kayak Finn (don't confuse it with a dorsal fin or Jackson will get mad) gave us the ability to get our kayak into the water within 10 minutes anywhere. Guys it was a lot of work. Our towels never fully dried and our van smelled like dead fish most of the trip. Sometimes it poured on our hikes and we got lost in the woods but we chose to make the best of it. The Chicheemaun made me so seasick I could barely stand and we drove 45 minutes for terrible french fries. But we also swam in waterfalls, snorkled in Killarney, dissected a sheep's brain at Science North, slept in a tipi, explored pitch black caves and laughed our faces off playing Bean Boozled. It's worth it friends. Go with a flexible plan, make sure coffee is always accessible and let your kids decide what they want to do. Turns out they don't need the big fancy trip but just need Reuben and I to be intentional. And caffeinated. 7/24/2021 0 Comments fearsWe've finally introduced Harry Potter to our kids. We were waiting until the 'perfect' age (which is obviously birth) but felt like Jackson and Shiloh could finally start to understand it. I know Harry Potter still receives mixed reception but I love watching my kids use their imagination to visualize the book. Obviously they had to read (or listen to the audiobook) before watching any of the movies. Any other way is ridiculous.
In one chapter the students learn to handle a creature that turns into whatever you are most afraid of. So we started talking about what we are most afraid of. Reuben: "Obviously nothing." Amber: "Spiders." Shiloh: "Zombies who would eat me." Harper: "Monsters." Jackson: "Talking to people I don't know or used to know but not anymore." Oh bless your heart my wonderfully introverted child, you take after your momma. 6/23/2021 0 Comments the newspaper runSo we started a paper route for the kids.
You audibly sighed and rolled your eyes as you read that. I know, I know what was I thinking?! Well, I was thinking that the route was ideal. It's the few streets around our house. I was thinking we could start teaching the kids about money, working hard, blah blah blah. But really I wasn't thinking. Let me give you a snapshot into the 24 hours surrounding the newspaper deliveries. TUESDAY - dread the entire next day's debacle with the papers WEDNESDAY 3:00pm (ish) - newspapers are thrown on our front lawn. 3:30pm - the papers are brought inside after half an hour of arguing over who was going to hold the door open. 3:45 pm - All four of us argue about who is going to do what. Eventually I lose and I am inserting and folding while the kids shoot elastics at each other and blow up and try to pop every bag. Newspapers are whipped at each other's heads and an all out war begins. 5:00 pm - IF WE ARE LUCKY THE PAPERS ARE READY. Usually this is accomplished with much bribing and a possibly raised voice. 6:00 pm - After dinner we load up the wagon inside and take it outside. It's usually shoved down the front stairs and all the newspapers spill out everywhere. Then Harper picks up every paper upside down and we need to rebag. 6:30 pm - Finally start delivering. Shiloh to her credit pounds the pavement and works her butt off. The other two? No..... 6:40pm - Shiloh is done at least 10 houses - Harper is still swinging the bagged paper around her head on the first drive way. - Jackson is walking as slow as possible because he thinks there's someone inside the house. He then whips the paper at the front step and books it back to the road. 7:00pm - Shiloh is done half the route. - Harper is completely distracted by a cat and won't stop looking into people's from windows. - Jackson is trying to con Harper into doing his house because someone is outside. He's lying about a cat being there. 7:30pm - Shiloh is done the route. - Harper is on her 3rd house and decided to take a nap on their front step with me whisper yelling at her to get up. - Jackson is hiding behind a car in the middle of a drive way because he saw someone on the front step. 8:00pm - Route is done, I need a stiff drink. What have my kids learned so far? Besides the fact that their mom absolutely regrets this decision? No idea. |
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