5/29/2021 0 Comments family photos (aka chaos)So we decided to have family photos done. Because you know. Captured memories, remembering each stage, all that jazz.
And it happened in true Langendoen fashion. Well our Langendoen fashion. When we booked the shoot we could go into stores and actually pick out clothes. Or at the very least when I put things in my cart online it would actually be there when I go to check out. But instead when our shoot happened it was the opposite. You know no stores, no clothes that fit my son who needs to grow every time I turn around. So we borrowed from friends and decided to work the mismatched look, but not the cool hipster one. And I decided to wear a dress. I know i know pick your jaw up off the floor. And despite the fact that the photographer encouraged us to wear what we are comfortable I decided to wear a dress. Which I'm not comfortable. But I wanted to be an adult. You know, grown up. Oh and I brought a pair of jeans and shirt to change in to part way through. And to hide my perma-bags I thought I would wear fake eyelashes that I never wear any other time. I couldn't remember if you applied glue to the eyelashes or my eyelids... I went with eyelids. I was wrong. And as I squeezed the glue I sneezed. SNEEZED. I covered my entire eyelid with eyelash glue. And glued my eyelids together. And you might be thinking "Amber, just open your eyes seriously". Well let me tell you something. I also got glue IN my eye so it burned like an insane maniac. And you know when you get something in your eye that you desperately need to get out but it hurts so bad you can't open your eyes?! It was that. So then by the time the fire in my eyeballs stopped enough my top and bottom lashes had sealed. Oh and I forgot to tell you that I decided on the eyelashes 15 minutes before we needed to leave. So in a desperate combination of makeup remover, warm water, and physically peeling apart my lashes I realized I couldn't get the glue off my eyelids and just reapplied my makeup over it cementing it forever and a day. No big deal guys, no big deal. And then the chaos started. 5 minutes before we pulled in to the conservation area Gus (yes we decided to take both dogs) barfed. Annnnnd I forgot to take napkins or wipes. So we introduced ourselves to the photographer while I was scooping barf out with a mask and hucking it on to the grass. Things from there were great/good/passable, I don't know. 15 minutes were relatively uneventful. And then Harper had to pee. This girl has mastered popping a squat over Covid so I wasn't worried. We found a little grouping of trees where she took care of business. And when I went to pull up her underwear she decided she wasn't finished and peed into my hand. Lucky for Reuben we had to take some couple shots after and got to hold hands, warm with pee and all. I thought the madness was done. It wasn't. While I was trying not to continually adjust the dress and look all coupily with Reuben, Harper announced she had to poop. Oh wait, no she was just kidding. Crisis averted?! Nope. Shiloh came over screaming that Harper pooped herself. Yep yep she did. Full out fill the underwear to the brim poop. I think the photographer realized the depths of our chaos when I grabbed a handful of leaves while walking Harper to the trees to empty her underwear only to hear Harper freak out about the peppers in her poop that she thought was blood. Also it became evident that the underwear was a casualty of the shoot. Harper is STILL mad at me for throwing out her apparently favourite pair of underwear which were white with poop stains... Guess I'm gonna have to buy some more like that?? Buuuuuuut I DID remember extra overalls for Harper just in case. Thank goodness. Because her bare bum in pictures would have been bad but given that we had no wipes and her bum had a brownish hue... that would have been reaaaaally bad. The rest of the shoot was uneventful and we went home an hour later and got some super cute sneak peeks. The end.
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