5/30/2017 0 Comments soccer momI'm a soccer mom again. Currently my mini van is the best part. Jackson started outdoor soccer this past week. Nothing intense - they play on half of a mini field with shirts that are WAY too big (and adorable) and basically just try to kick the ball. There is a practice before hand and then a 'game'. If you've ever met my darling son, you'll have quickly realized he does NOT STOP MOVING. He runs and runs and runs. And runs. Soccer seemed logical right?!
I think my eyes still hurt from glaring at him so bad. Not watching, no no glaring. He's not yet four so expectations are low. Every parent signs their kid up for the cute preschool attempts at playing soccer with no lofty ambitions right? Childhood rite of passage. And yet I'm not sure my body can handle the stress of another game. We arrived early and Jackson was the only kid there for nearly 15 minutes. Pretty sure within those 15 minutes his coaches regretted their decision. Jackson not only did not stop moving he did not stop talking. At all. He told his coaches anything and everything. Talked about his sister, soccer ball, his dad, excavactors, his penguin, his cousin Tucker and probably 10 000 other things. My kid was THAT kid. The one that never stops talking (loud) but is super keen (for the most part) during drills but then decides to race off and encourage everyone else to ignore any adult figure. Jackson was fascinated with the mushrooms growing on the field and would not stop showing them to everyone. When the other kids came, he continued to talk louder and louder until someone paid attention to him. He also tried to force his team mates to eat them telling them "my Pake grows mushrooms". Pretty sure all the other parents think we grow magic mushrooms the way he was rushing around. Jackson put on a gymnastic performance, trying to somersault all over. Except his somersaults are spinning around on his head because he has no concept of being able to push his legs over his head. There are no bathrooms so anytime he had to pee he would grab himself and start screaming he had to pee until Reuben could rush him into the forest. I think by that point I may have left him in there until the the game was done. One of his church friends is also on his team and I'm starting to realize that Jackson doesn't hang out with a lot of boys right now (a lot of my friends have girls who he really likes). Who knew testosterone could run rampant in a 3.5 year old? Seriously. He and his friend wrestled, tackled, jumped on and pushed each other at every chance. Every chance. They would run off the field together and hide underneath the bushes and ignore any adult who came near them. Kick the ball once, run away for the next 10 minutes. His friend brought his entire family to the game (aunts, uncles, grandpa) so of course Jackson made sure his friend did everything but kick a soccer ball. Any parental pride I had at my well behaved 3.5 year old ran away with Jackson. And of course I'm trying to calm Harper, who normally goes to bed hours before, while chasing Ms.Free Spirit and her friend off of the older kid's fields. I must have looked awesome cursing Jackson under my breath, carrying a screaming baby trying to drag 2 2.5 year olds away while dodging soccer balls AND rain drops. Can you tell I haven't quite dealt with this yet? Best part was at the end of the game I realized my friend's family was cheering my son on more than I was. Epic parent fail. Jackson had an absolute ball, was thrilled to death to be playing with his friend and was so proud of himself. Way to go Amber, way to go. I mean I laugh about the game now, more because of my son's endless endless energy and need to go. I realized for the first time I was genuinely embarassed by my child. Parental rite of passage. Check. I mean my kids have embarassed me before but not for 2 hours straight. In public. In front of the pastor and his family. And conservative friends we hadn't seen in years with gentle, mild children. Well played Jackson, well played. Guess this mama has to rethink her parenting strategies. I will not be bested!! (All you seasoned parents are laughing at that, I know). So here's to trying again next week, hopefully sans wrestling (and maybe a bit of wine in my water bottle).
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5/30/2017 1 Comment average daysI love trying to feed toddlers. It's the biggest mind game I've ever been trapped in but when I get it right it's an insane rush. I mean you've defeated the epitome of unpredictability and indecisiveness! And Shiloh (surprise surprise) is the master. "What do you want on your sandwich?" "Cheese." *proceed to cut cheese and put it on a sandwich* "Do you want it on a big one or another one on top?" "Nothing on top." "Would you like it cut?" *Shiloh looks over* "I don't want cheese!" "You don't want cheese?" "No." "Then what do you want?" "No." "You need to eat something." "Jam sandwich." "Jam? You sure?" "Yes" *proceeds to make jam sandwich and give it to her. *I said CHEESE!" I give up. We also took on the library today in which Shiloh felt the need to direct everyone. They were actually adorable. They have to take their backpacks full of books and put it in the drop box before going in. They spent nearly 10 minutes putting each item in and I'm guessing they thought it was pretty awesome considering they couldn't stop giggling. Shiloh fell over in the elevator when it stopped to which I did the mature parenting thing and laughed. The branch we usually visit has check out stations that are at a kid's height so after nearly destroying the child computers (they can click a mouse and 'type' faster than anyone I know) they checked out their own books. Shiloh is VERY proper as to everything and loves to encourage the rest of us. "That's right buddy (Jackson), push the button. 1....2....3.... Do you need help? No? That's right, good job!". Or "Mom, just print the receipt so you remember the books okay? Do you need help?". But my favourite thing is watching them carry backpacks exploding with books and stopping every few seconds to try to grab another book out to read. My kind of kids! Except Shiloh uses every excuse to wear a dress in public. Not my kind of kid. She also lately carries around her brush everywhere. At dance class this morning she loudly exclaimed that my hair was a disaster and she needed to brush it immediately. It probably was. Also my pictures are being dumb and won't go where I want them. 5/24/2017 1 Comment fort georgeWe explored Fort George today! And although I am all for driving longer distances and paying for my kids to learn about their country through cultural activiites and museums, this one was FREE! All because Canada is turning 150 and Parks Canada is offering free admission to national sites! There are all of like 3 within a few hours of us so we are taking advantage of the ones that we can go to. And I am SO thankful for friends who come along with their kids. They entertain my kids and always bring way better snacks than I do. I wasn't too overly optimistic that Fort George would instil a deep sense of Canadian pride in my children. I mean I love history and I still struggle with basic Canadian historical events. Don't judge! And my kids are 3, 2 and 6 months. Come on Amber. It was pretty hilarious watching all four littles (my friend's kids too, I didn't steal someone else's) cover their ears during the musket demonstration. They did me proud as they pilfered as many crepes as they possibly could from the ''kitchen'' which hid the fact that I ate like 6. When we walked through a tunnel Jackson loudly told everyone (after yelling ''echo'' in the tunnel a bazillion times) that he thinks vampires live in this tunnel. He has no stinking idea what a vampire is and has the strangest obsession with anything spooky. The Canadian heritage is strong with that one. But in true Langendoen (my Langendoen family) fashion, every adventure must include poop. This is not intentional in ANY way on my part, believe me. And every single time makes me feel like a totally rookie mom. After a picnic lunch we went for one more quick hike but first Jackson needed the bathroom. Completely unaware that he had pooped I quickly helped him with his shorts. Cue the mad poop fling. Everywhere. And if that wasn't bad enough, I had Harper in a carrier and she had JUST fallen asleep. So I'm trying to bend over without waking her up, keep Jackson and our friend's son out of his explosion and realize there are only a few sheets of that horrible excuse of a toilet paper that is really just see through garbage. Because I haven't learned my lesson, I had no clean underwear or wipes. Jackson starts to bend over and tries to make faces at me through his poop covered legs and our little friend continually flushes the toilet and turns on all the taps. Apparently everything is hilarious and Jackson cannot stop laughing. He wasn't laughing after I had to throw out his underwear and he needed to wear sink washed poop smelling shorts. And thanks to my kids' poop's ability to permanently stay under my finger nails, I no longer wear nail polish. And yet nothing is better than sweaty little bodies falling asleep after talking incessantly about their adventure. So we will do it all over again! 5/22/2017 1 Comment weekly recapWell. It's official. Time goes insanely fast when we want it to slow down and a few moments can seem like years at other times. Like the fact that my baby is 6 months old already!!!WHAT?! How did that happen?? And we are STILL potty training so you know I'll be getting senior discounts before my son is out of pull ups. We also just finished the May long weekend which means it's almost June which is absolutely bananas. And it the midst of time flying you are expected to raise well mannered, well behaved and perfectly dressed children while having a Pinterest home, healthy eating from scratch, ensuring your kids have all the intellectual stimulation they need, travelling around the world, have a great job, workout, balance every relationship you are in, read every book that is thrown your way, have enough playdates, blah blah blah. Anyone else exhausted?! Just typing that list makes me want to hide in my closet. But we hustle through the insanity and hope that when we call it a day we've done our best right?
But the scariest part is that my kids are no longer chubby rolly polly babies who ''throw a temper tantrum'' when they don't get their way. Now they are becoming independent little thinkers (aka manipulators) complete with uncontrollable personalities that I'm supposed to encourage but control? Despite that being ridiculously scary, I love watching them become little people (currently one of my little peoples is lying on my bed with the most foul diaper I've ever smelt - and given who I grew up with that's quite the accomplishment). But here are my highlights of the week :) 1. Harper is on the move! She rolls both ways and all over. She also pushes herself up into a bridge and scootches along with her shoulder blades still on the ground. Hilarious. Last night we spent the night at a friend's house and Harper was in the playpen turning every which way and getting stuck all over. The skill it takes to get stuck in a 4x2 play pen. 2. Shiloh asked me if I got a lot of time outs when I was little like her and when I said, yes and also spankings, her reply was "that's because you were a little monster". Clearly she's been talking to grandma. 3. We had a sleepover at a friend's house for the long weekend which ended up inside because of the rain. Putting 4 kids down who are 4 require multiple parents going up, threats uttered and eventually me sleeping inbetween them at 10.30 pm! And a 6 30 wake up call. But the memories right? 4. Shiloh is the MASTER of verbal manipulation that somehow gets her out of everything. She uses ''because'' in ways that baffles and astounds me (and usually ends up with her getting and early release from time out). "Shiloh why are you crying" (she's in time out cry/yelling). "Because I'm sad" "Why" "Because... because Jesus doesn't live in the wall beside me and now Im' afraid". When I hesitated because what in tarnations do you say to that, off she goes. 5. We spent the morning a small local zoo. Despite the bears, tigers, wolves and camels Jackson's highlight was fish. Like normal koi and goldfish. 6. Jackson's love hasn't seemed to multiply with Harper's arrival but completely transferred to her leaving Shiloh with very little. "Mommy, I love this sister" *whispering to Harper*"I love you, not Shiloh. I don't even like her. I don't love her". These years are going to be long ones. 7. Jackson marched downstairs and stated "My room is a disaster. Just clean it". Mm. Okay 8. "I'm scared because I don't like trees" (Shiloh) 9. "I want peppermints and cheese". "No peppermints". "Okay, cheese and peppermints" (Shiloh) 10. We had a thunderstorm Sunday morning. Jackson proceeded to yell at the thunder to stop and got quite upset when it didn't listen. 11. We've discovered Harper looks like a basking shark (look it up). She has an enormous mouth that is always open. And absolutely adorable. 12. Jackson and Shiloh are still working on their letter and number recognition. If they don't know the letter I'm referring to, they will start speaking in a foreign language and make up super annoying letters (Jackson's favourite is ''beet-boo''). We also argue about the fact that a D is not the number 6. And yet it's been a wonderful week that's given me 10000 more gray hairs and went by way too fast. We spent so much time outside and it was wonderful! Here's to another one!! 5/17/2017 1 Comment mini vacation aka the dentistI have developed this amazing ability to have mini vacations. Sometimes it happens when all three of my children are distracted enough by something to let me have a 10 minute shower in peace. Better than a spa (don't tell that to Reuben, I'd still very much like to go to the spa). Sometimes it happens when I am waiting at the doctor's appointment (I may go oh, an hour before my appointment with a book and hot coffee AND my own box of timbits that I eat with reckless abandon). Sometimes it happens when I have a dental procedure. Like today.
I mean I hate the dentist. Who doesn't. Just the sound of the drill makes me want to pretend I'm not Amber Kuipers when they call my name. But today I had to go completely under thanks to my wisdom teeth (that do NOT live up to their name) that created a cavity in the neighbouring molar UNDER my bone. So a surgical procedure it is. BUT this meant that my in-laws very generously offered to take the kids for not only the night before but also the night of the procedure! VAACAAAAAYY!!! Except nothing ever goes as planned right?! Instead of being a uncomplicated procedure that would send me home in a medicated bliss to dream the day away, it ended up being ridiculous. Apparently since having Harper my body decided to just completely reject local freezing. So I entered dream land wonderfully but they couldn't keep the sites frozen. Everything took an hour longer than expected and they only got 1/3 of the amount of work done. By the time I got home my face was almost completely unfrozen. And I guess my sun tinged face turned 5 shades (not 50) of gray causing a bit of alarm. I woke up to a nasty glucose tablet in my mouth and orange juice being spooned into me. Thank you blood sugar for also taking a vacation. Although I got a wonderful nap, i then woke up with extreme jaw pain but a ton of energy. And the weather was GORGEOUS. Then the battle began. It's gorgeous outside and I've got a bazillion things to do plus no kids. But when I stand up I see a thousand stars. Buuttt even I'm getting annoyed with my housework. But I feel like the floor is rolling over. BUT I HAVE NO CHILDREN! I lost. I could barely read a book or sit up straight without having a headache. My much anticipated medicated vacation (I only got tylenol which does not put you out like a light) turned into an internal war all day. Now I'm finishing my day desperately wishing my kiddies were home although I know they are having a blast. Nothing's worse than walking past empty rooms at night when there are supposed to be sweaty snoring little babies in them. I'll live for my next vacation which will probably be when I escape to the basement to throw in a load of laundry. 5/15/2017 1 Comment mother's dayAny other mother feel like the sappiness of being a mom comes on strong around Mother's Day? When all those drawings and scribbled papers littered around the house suddenly become treasured masterpieces? When all the things that are normally utterly ridiculous (the insistence on having your food an exact way on your plate without touching a single other food) suddenly become extra endearing? It's like having a certain day set aside to celebrate the fact that mothers are awesome makes everything else special. Hey, I am not complaining! I love Mother's Day. Not because I get to play the ''sorry, Reuben my love, it's mother's day which leaves poop explosion #4 to you" card (which is great) or because I may get a special something or two. But because I get to remember all the reasons why I love being a mom. And I get to spend an entire day with my family. Told you, sappy.
Here are my reflections as a mom in list format because I know you all love to read them. 1. Being a mom has given me more stretch marks, more wrinkles, more grey hairs and more loose body parts that I thought physically possible. And I'm not yet 30. It's like my body has gone downhill on an incredibly fast toboggan ride with no end in sight. 2. I have the most insanely wild imagination during late night feedings. The stories I can dream up amaze even me. 3. There are things I've learned about myself I never knew. I never knew I could cry over looking at my baby and thinking of the endless possibilities for their future. In the same breath I never thought I would cry over an older kid calling my toddler dumb at the park. Thank goodness he has no idea what that means and just continue to batter the child with his endless questions. I never knew what it meant to have your heart almost bursting with love for not one, not two, but three little crazies that you created all at the same time in such insane emotions that you want to laugh/cry/scream/jump and run away all the same time. I never knew I could endure all the physical pain and wonderful indignities of having a baby once and want to do it again and again. 4. There are things about myself I WISH I never knew. I wish I didn't have emotional responses to poop depending on where they end up - tears of sheer frustration at yet another underwear discovery and tears of joy at being able to flush it away on the rare occasion it ends up in my toilet. I wish I didn't know the Paw Patrol, Wild Kratts, Magic School Bus and Blippi theme song. Every. Single. Word. I wish I wasn't able to clear away an explosive mess with one wipe. Okay, that one's a bragging point. I wish I didn't know how to take a shower in less than 5 minutes. 5. I've learned more about human anatomy in the last 6 months than I knew before. I've also never been more thankful for Google. 6. My kids can read minds and have supersonic hearing. The second I tell anyone that they are sleeping through the night, haven't had an accident in a few hours, etc they know. And they will do complete opposite of what I sad. 7. Being a mom has made me recognize my complete dependence on my husband's strength and my need for my community. I fail so so many times and absolutely need the encouragement of my friends and family. No matter how hard I try to be independent or to prove that I can do it on my own, I can't. My birth experience with all my kids, Harper especially, has made me so aware of the fact that no matter how hard you try, sometimes your body has other ideas. It turns against you in more ways than one. And although I need my community, it's not a bad thing. My kids grow and learn from others. 8. I have never been more thankful for other adult conversation. I don't care what you talk to me about. You can talk to me about pencil lead for all I care. I just care that your an adult that has even just a few skills in rational conversation. And yet there is something so fascinating about watching your babies turn into little indepedent beings. Also terrifying. 9. I hate Pinterest. 10. There is no one on earth I'd rather spend my days with than my Jackson, Shiloh and Harper. There are no faces I'd rather wake up to (although preferably after 6) and no one else I'd rather explore with. They give me meaning and ground me. They give me purpose and hope for our future. They are my greatest challenge and my greatest joy. They will one day be fully functioning adults (Lord willing) and I will miss all these crazy chaotic days with all my heart. I love seeing their little minds grow but I also love their little minds right now. Sentiment at it's finest right? I would never change being a mom to my crazies. I love it. 5/11/2017 0 Comments piratesIt hasn't been very May weather here today. It has hovered around 8 degrees and was overcast, windy and cold this morning. I decided to take my kids to the library to kill the morning and hope they get some energy out. But of course I show up after the morning program has started and they were full to capacity. The worst part about that is that then the children computers are open. Hurray. My kids love some drum kids app thing that makes an insane amount of noise (obviously). It is adorable watching them look at all the books on the shelves and have them sit and ''read'' their stories. Shiloh even took a sign off the wall and shoved it in every other child's face and demand they be quiet because "goodness you are in a library". The sign in fact said "please do not unplug the children's computers".
I had this genius idea of having a treasure hunt with my kids with the chocolate dollar coins and the chocolate rocks. Brilliant right?! Entertaining for them, chocolate for me! Win win! I had very lofty plans of having a simple but detailed treasure hunt for them with clues throughout the house. When Harper decided to party literally all night I threw that plan out the window with any hopes of ever sleeping. After the kids were finished their lunch I told them that a pirate had come and left behind his treasure, we should go find it! Again, no need to comment on my genius. I was pretty proud of my little game. But of course, as every parent knows, never ever be proud of something or any child. Because immediately you think that thought they will instantly change everything. Jackson could NOT care less about the treasure. Whippy doo mom, chocolate. He was absolutely fixated on finding the pirate. He searched my entire room on the hunt for the pirate. He spent 45 minutes combing the house, searching closets, under beds, opening windows to call out to the mysterious pirate. I tried to tell him maybe the pirate had flown away but that was met with such insistence that "mom, pirates don't fly" and eye rolling. Even after telling him that he was just pretend, he did not believe me and continued to hunt. I should be proud of how long his imagination can keep him entertained but I'm a little afraid the pirate is going to visit his dreams tonight resulting in Jackson visiting my bed. |
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